On a day that is built around love and loving others, I would like to take some time to remind you to love yourself today and everyday. I recently began journaling and noticed my tendency to reflect using negative self-talk: “I could have done this better” and “I could have done that better”. I then noticed how my negative self talk alters my ability to validate and defend myself. I started seeking validation from close friends and family. These people closest to me were always so puzzled as to why I needed them to reassure me that I am good and worth it. In turn, I started to wonder why I did not feel worth it and decided to write a journal entry that was simply a love note.
I must admit writing a love note to myself seemed rather pointless and silly, but once I was able to get over my initial hesitation, I was shocked at how good it made me feel to say nice things to myself. As someone who works with kids, I know the power of positive reinforcement and building up a child so they develop good self-esteem. In fact, I pride myself on taking the time to invest in all my kids (clients). Their well being and positive self-image is extremely important to me. I want my kids to feel strong inside and out so they can grow into solid individuals who believe they are worth it. I truly feel that if kids feel good about who they are, take pride in their fitness and nutrition, and use lessons in the gym to better them in the real world, they will be more likely to succeed. They will stand tall and proud next to themselves and they will not seek validation from anyone.
Like a lot of people, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to be successful. Every time I set a goal and achieve it, I am already running toward the next challenge. Rarely do I stop and say “good job, Riss!”. I wonder how many of us actually take the time to stop and acknowledge our good deeds and hard work. Do you? Until I started journaling, I didn’t really notice how much I was under appreciating myself and was disappointed that after years of building up others, I had let myself fall to the wayside. Even more disappointing was seeing how difficult it was for me to write down my positive qualities and traits. I really struggled to praise myself.
After staring at the blank page for far too long, I started to think about what I say to my kids. How do I build them up? All of the sudden it was clear what I needed to hear! This is the note I wrote myself:
I think you are amazing! You have a gift - you are a light - you are a bright and powerful star. Keep doing you - no matter the mistakes you make along the way - I will always love you. I will love you forever. You are my heart, my favorite, and I promise to stand next to you, tall and proud. Live free from your negativity - you deserve to be happy - you deserve the best!
Yes, it is somewhat embarrassing to post this, but I feel like I gained so much from this exercise that I can put my fears aside in order to help others recognize how great they are and the importance of telling themselves exactly that.
Happy Happiest Valentine’s Day! Please take some time on this day of love to rekindle your most important relationship - never forget to love yourself!